I did a quick run-through of your web site. You are to be commended for digging as deeply into Self as you do.
I am glad you have found some books / tapes / CD’s / etc. that assist you in your endeavors. They help. Tremendously.
Be ever watchful of those rather mysterious and sudden hints of assistance that you never saw coming. They can be worth their weight in gold.
And there ARE those Golden Moments in Life. Treasure them. Keep them to yourself, for they are between you – – and Spirit.
I wish you well.