–David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
My introduction to David Deida was through Integral Naked, where he is a frequent contributor on the unity of intimacy and spirituality. I was facinated by his talks on “yogic sexuality and intimate communion” and have wanted to incorporate some of his teachings into my Integral Life Practice for months. I imagine Deida either completely intimidates or completely inspires everyone introduced to him, but I have been deeply inspired.
Reading The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Woman, Work, and Sexual Desire was my first real step into practicing a sexual yoga in any structured way, and it was deeply affirming of many things I had been intuiting and utterly shattering for a lot of my follies. I haven’t been this inspired by a new author since I first read The Atman Project.
A focus of the book was the value of sexual polarities, that most of us (roughly 90%) have primarily a masculine or feminine identity and are most drawn to and happiest with someone living the opposite. Deida writes of the challenge and unending reward of stepping into a masculine, authentic and transparent identity, ultimately expressing the spiritual drive. As a book for masculine people (and those in intimate relationships with them), it presents a comprehensive, practical and resonant way of fostering lives of value and happiness.
His assertion of the need for embodiment of the two primary masculine and feminine traits of agape (communion and care) and eros (drive and mission) was exciting. He urges us to break out of the crippling notion that we must take part in compromises of our deepest motivations.
Not only is the compromise personally distasteful, but it must also be a turn off for anyone watching her partner stagnate.
In addition to many suggestions for more transparent behaviour, some techniques are introduced for more fulfilling sex. Muscle, breathing and meditation exercises were very accessable and have been easy to adopt, and I appreciate the presentation in such a direct manner.
The Way of the Superior Man stirred up so much motivation for me and gave me the techniques and foundation to practice beyond any expectations I had. The challenge and promise offered leads through sexuality and straight into the timeless divine, and there we find limitless purpose, limitless love and ultimately our Self.