The Way Of The Superior Man

(or “You Are What You Read” 😉 )

“It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart. It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine. Heart and spine must be united in a single man, and then gone beyond in the fullest expression of love and consciousness possible, which requires a deep relaxation into the infinite openness of this present moment. And this takes a new kind of guts. This is the Way of the Superior Man.”
David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

My introduction to David Deida was through Integral Naked, where he is a frequent contributor on the unity of intimacy and spirituality. I was facinated by his talks on “yogic sexuality and intimate communion” and have wanted to incorporate some of his teachings into my Integral Life Practice for months. I imagine Deida either completely intimidates or completely inspires everyone introduced to him, but I have been deeply inspired.
Reading The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Woman, Work, and Sexual Desire was my first real step into practicing a sexual yoga in any structured way, and it was deeply affirming of many things I had been intuiting and utterly shattering for a lot of my follies. I haven’t been this inspired by a new author since I first read The Atman Project.
A focus of the book was the value of sexual polarities, that most of us (roughly 90%) have primarily a masculine or feminine identity and are most drawn to and happiest with someone living the opposite. Deida writes of the challenge and unending reward of stepping into a masculine, authentic and transparent identity, ultimately expressing the spiritual drive. As a book for masculine people (and those in intimate relationships with them), it presents a comprehensive, practical and resonant way of fostering lives of value and happiness.
His assertion of the need for embodiment of the two primary masculine and feminine traits of agape (communion and care) and eros (drive and mission) was exciting. He urges us to break out of the crippling notion that we must take part in compromises of our deepest motivations.

Your mission is your priority. Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner. The next time you notice yourself “giving in” to your woman, postponing your mission and denying your true purpose in order to spend time with her, stop. Tell your woman that you love her, but you cannot deny your heart’s purpose.

Not only is the compromise personally distasteful, but it must also be a turn off for anyone watching her partner stagnate.
In addition to many suggestions for more transparent behaviour, some techniques are introduced for more fulfilling sex. Muscle, breathing and meditation exercises were very accessable and have been easy to adopt, and I appreciate the presentation in such a direct manner.
The Way of the Superior Man stirred up so much motivation for me and gave me the techniques and foundation to practice beyond any expectations I had. The challenge and promise offered leads through sexuality and straight into the timeless divine, and there we find limitless purpose, limitless love and ultimately our Self.

The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. I invite you to live in the moment, to love openly, and to step up to the plate with this book in your hand.
-Tony Robbins

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