21 March 2007

Morning
I just wanted to share with you that I have left my lover. It has been a fabulous, intense almost two months. We started our journey on the 1 February.
I cannot experience the pain of him going away with a new woman for this week. He met her two weeks ago after an intimate weekend with me. Our most connected time together. Perhaps too close, too intense. But I question if that can be true??
I thought I would be able to accept him finding fascination with another.
What I have experienced is that, Poly contains Deceit. That is what disappoints me intensely.
Lies are connected to the concept.
There is more to the story. I expected to see my lover last night after he spent the evening with his children, it was his birthday. He evaded telling me that he was not going to join me. I would have accepted for him to say that he was with another woman, but I cannot accept him using his children as a distraction for where he chose to be. It is my glimpse of the future of sharing my intimacy with another.

Perhaps my experience is not a true reflection of what Poly should involve.
But I am shattered by the withholding of facts and the pain that the withholding of Truth causes me.
I am going into my Pain for now as I am really sad. I will come out stronger and with clearer vision.
This is not easy.