…Inside my deepest feelings I know you won’t do wrong…

So I had a photo of Ashley I had printed off with me… I was talking to my mother about various things… every time I tried to bring up Ashley she’d start in on something else… My plan was to show her the picture and tell her I have a girlfriend, and I have for 9 months now, then I’d continue on to tell her all about Ashley once I broke the ice… Then she noticed a leak out on the deck(where they are planning to put on a new roof in a week or two) and of course got in a bad mood since it leaked on her new futon… :,(… God, I tried to say it but the words kept getting caught somewhere before I could… I get so nervous… it’s certainly not a bad thing that I’ve found someone as wonderful as Ashley, so I don’t know why I always lock up like that… I hate it and myself so much when it happens. All my confidence just fades… I had the photo ready to show her, she may even have seen it for all I know… 🙁
I need to find some way to do it. Writing a letter to just break the ice may be my best option… If I can’t tell her by dinner tomorrow I will write it and give it to her, ask her to read it and tell her the rest… I’ll be able to do that, at least.
I’m so sick of myself and my inability to do something this simple… :/

I WILL TELL HER TOMORROW! I have to. I promised Ashley last night I would tell her in the next two days and I will. I simply refuse to break a promise to her… No matter what I have to do to make myself just blurt it out or whatever, I will tell her. I HAVE TO TELL HER!