Shatter

I find it odd that even though something terrible happens, something that causes a lot of pain, I still feel a pain much stronger, a pain of denial, a pain of what never will be. Someone loves me so much yet I can’t love them. And I care about others. And the pain of that is felt worse than the pain the one who loves me feels…. why does it feel so surreal?
Suddenly she wants to end her life…. because of this new hurt and the hurt I had to cause to spare some of my own…. And everything falls apart. How do you make a decision like that? Save a life or save sanity, truth and real emotion? Everything is falling apart….. I really can’t help but see everything at the breaking point. All of it…. my life, hers….. I can’t deal with this…. I’ve never had to…… But I will try….
Everything is fallling apart…. Everything!
But I won’t miss where the pieces fall, I’ll gather it all back…. I hope