Wacky Warnings

Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Sign at Railroad Station
Cannot be made non-poisonous.
Windshield Wash Fluid

Caution: Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object.
Hammer

Caution: Hot beverages are hot!
Coffee Cup

Caution: Never drive with the cover on your windshield
Automobile Windshield cover

Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish
Dog Shampoo

Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.
Rubber Ball

Directions: Use like regular soap
Dial soap

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
Swedish chain saw

Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
SGI computer

Do not eat toner.
Laser Printer Cartridge

Do not eat urinal cakes.
Rest Stop in Wisconsin

Do not light the flame near the face.
Cigarette Lighter

Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
Laser Pointer

Do not pour liquids into your television set.
Television Owner’s Manual

Do not put lit candles on phone.
Cordless Phone

Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.
Battery

Do not use for drying pets.
Microwave

Do not use intimately.
Deodorant

Do not use orally after using rectally.
Electronic Thermometer

Do not use orally.
Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush

Fits one head.
Hotel Shower Cap

For external use only!
Curling Iron

For indoor or outdoor use only.
Christmas lights

For lifting purposes only
Car Jack

If swallowed or lodged in ear or nose see doctor.
Ray-O-Vac Renewal AA Batteries

If you are seated in an exit aisle and are unable to read this, please ask a stewardess to reseat you.
Cayman Airlines safety booklet

Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included.
VCR

Not dishwasher safe.
TV Remote Control

Not for human consumption.
Package of Dice

Not for weight control.
Breath Savers

Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
6×10 inch inflatable picture frame

Not to be used as protection from a tornado.
blanket from Taiwan

Not to be used for the other use.
Japanese food processor

Peel fruit from cellophane before eating.
Fruit Roll-ups

Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.
Grapes

Remember: Objects in mirror are actually behind you.
Bike Helmet Mirror

There shall be three (3) access levels with level 4 being the highest level.
Fire Alarm System

This camera only works when there is film inside.
Camera

THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
Insect Spray from New Zealand

Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
Soft Drink

Use caution when using near fire, flame, or sparks.
Fireplace Lighter

USE EXTREME CAUTION when stretching cord over load. Keep face and other vulnerable body parts away from potential cord rebound path.
Bungee cord

USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
Taiwanese shampoo

Warning – this spray is harmful to bees
Insect Spray

Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.
Midol PMS

WARNING: Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.
Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer

Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Heated Seat Cushion

Warning: drug may cause sleepiness.
Sleeping Pill Prescription

Warning: Flame may cause fire.
Butane Lighter

Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Rat Poison

Warning: knives are sharp!
Sharpening Stone

Warning: may cause drowsiness.
Nytol

Warning: May contain small parts.
Frisbee

WARNING: Not for use as earplugs.
Silly Putty

Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated.
Pop-Tarts

Warning: Remove child before folding baby stroller.
Baby Stroller

Warning: This product can burn eyes
Curling Iron

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Fritos