…I have been good, I understood, like a machine, I’ll fix you from the start…

Before the party my parents went plant shopping at every plant place in Truro. Since 5 days a week I work with plants I decided to sit in the car and listen to music. My minidisc player is marvelous!

The party was pretty good. I did my outcast bit for most of it. I’m too young to have much interest in the old folks’ business and too old to have interest in that of my younger relatives. The food was great though… my family always has great food at gatherings. And of course it’s always impressive when two people can spend 40 years together and still be as happy as they were on that first day. Hats off (not that I ever wear one) to my aunt Loraine and uncle Lesley (I’m sure I misspelled).

I was able to see my cousin Hailey. She’s absolutely adorable and is getting so smart. She can almost carry on a conversation already. I looked after her for an hour or so. It was nice. I love kids that age.

I talked with various family members, quite often about Ashley, what she’s doing, what college she’s attending and when she’ll be coming here again. They all want to meet her, of course. That all makes me wish she was here even more than usual. It would be so great to be together during things like that party.

When I arrived home Ilea and I watched a show on TLC about robots. It was interesting but there many moments when I thought, “why do we need robots when we can’t even give work to a good part of our population?” and then there was the telling statement that went something like this: “in Japan they need robots because they don’t have as many immigrants to do cheap labour as the US” Immigrants = Robots, it seems. Sick. We rely far too much on useless and dangerous technology and we have so much to lose in the progress.

I’m always thinking. It’s a dangerous practice, but then, approached properly can enrich your life. Trust me. Give it a try someday. I waver between wanting to become a recluse and wanting to travel the world and change lives. I go between having faith in humanity and wanting to take those I know to be good people far away from this corruption and hide out on our own private island. It’s a strange mix, but I try to resolve it. Perhaps we need both. Maybe we need to find that place where life can still be full of beauty and community, live there happily and wander out for half of the year to try to help the rest of the world. Is there a need for the enlightened to always suffer while fighting to enlighten?

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