Days Eleven and Twelve

– 12:15 p.m. Tuesday – 7:15 p.m Wednesday

Ashley and I spent our last 24 hours together relaxed and wishing our time together would never end. Most of that time was spent enjoying each other’s company and preparing for her departure.

From the moment we awoke together until the time we said goodbye a the airport, I was filled with the conflicting feelings of my immense happiness and love while being with her, and my dread of when we would have to part. The morning seemed to go past like a strong wind, and I only wish it would turn back and return those precious moments to me. The touch of Ashley’s hand, the feel of her lips, the sweetness of her voice and all the other feelings that are echoing through my memories like moths trapped in my head. These gentle but persistant thoughts of the best days of my life will surely be with me always.

With our last kiss and the last time our eyes met time took up its too-slow crawl again. I walked to the book store where my parents were waiting for me with strides I was far too aware of, and the beginnings of an empty aching.

At the book store I spied some Dalai Lama books at the counter. I’ve always wanted to learn more about him, his religion and beliefs, so I decided to buy one of the books, The Dalai Lama’s Book Of Transformation. It is based upon his longer work, and best seller, Transforming the Mind. In the time between shopping and eating stops in Halifax I read this entire text. It’s a truly beautiful and inspiring read that lead me to a greater understanding of the Tibetan people’s encompassing philosophy, lo-jong (transforming the mind), and Buddhism in general. It also affirmed my own spiritual journey, to become a truly compassionate, and to put that love before all things.

I will certainly read more about this path when I can, and I will definitely re-read this book in the coming days.

The core of all wisdom and enlightenment is compassion / love. If you truly look at any spirital belief this is the message that has importance.

As long as space endures,
as long as sentient beings remain,
until then, may I too remain
and dispel the miseries of the world

I’m now home and typing through tears that heat my face in liquid lines. I miss Ashley very much now. Her scent still floats in this room and curls up among the blankets we shared. I wish for her hand upon my shoulder, to touch her long brown strands of hair, and to feel her comfort pressed against me.

I hope her flight went well and that she’s stepping off the plane and into the arms of her parents as I type this. As much as I always miss her, I have days of memory to hold onto and be blessed with, for they truly were days of wonder I could not wish to distill to words.


[Music: Live – Like I Do]

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