Ten Minutes’ Thoughts on Loss and Hope

Not long ago I had what felt like a rebirth. I was energized and looking-changing toward the future. Just when I was embracing change, hope and growth, I was struck by another volley of hurt and setbacks that interrupted my stride for several days. I’m regaining it now, unwilling to end my march toward the holy light of the hope-pregnant future. How does one best shield oneself from such pains? Is shielding even the proper approach to matters of spirit and heart? Should we let the daggers sink in rather than allow the blissful healer’s touch to pass us by?

Losing hope feeds loss. Without hope one can lose their grip on the very things that grant it, and on the things we hold most dear. Loss, of course, feeds feelings of hopelessness. It’s a tricky cycle to end.

How does one best shield oneself from pains in relationships? As I see it now, awareness ahead of time is key. It is best not to give oneself false hope, but to rather be aware of as many factors as we can in order to recognize real hope.
In friendships we need to anticipate the needs and actions of those we care so much for in order to best help them when help is needed and to aviod being hurt by their choices. We can not realize a full love for someone and not recognize the complexities of their personality, all their flaws and glories. Through this recognition we have the ability to know when those we love are making choices that have potential to hurt us. We can also see when they are being hurt themselves and find ways to ease that hurting. In all this we need to recognize the need of all people to have personal choices and to enact their free will. We can not force people to make wise choices, merely be good council.
How is hope retained in this awareness of others if we are anticipating hurt? That’s the flaw in an approach that only attempts to shield. A full awareness of another person also looks the the glories of a person. When we enter into a friendship with anyone we see some aspect of them that appeals to us, and hopefully learn of many other positive aspects of that person as we come to know them. In relationships with people who live positively, we gain a tremendous amount. While there is always potential for hurt in any relationship, the ones which benefit us minimalize that risk and offer us hope. Hope is embued in the potential for good of the people we interact with, and those who live well and share love with us justify hope.
Cyclicly, noble acts (by ourselves and by others) feed hope and hope enables us to commit to noble acts. As a counter to the senseless wandering of loss-hopelessness we have the holy-hope dance-march to guide us forward.
It’s no simple task, surely, but one of the greatest and most noble skills one can learn is to know another as compeletely as possible, and to brave hurt in order to help and be helped by that one. When the same is returned in kind the greatest of relationships are formed. In this we are, to continue the metaphor, dancing together, providing hope to each other and continuing the journey on a cycle that benefits rather than harms and not allowing the other cycle to be reborn.

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