This sort of interaction has little appeal to me, to be honest. I’m not a partier, I don’t consume any drugs, and I don’t know many of the people here. There have been some interesting moments, but overall I’ve been wandering and sitting more than anything else. I’d spend time with people I know in a heartbeat, but I don’t enjoy the company of people of the sort who usually form the core of parties such as this.
I did enjoy going to a beach and playing frisbee earlier in the day, however. I haven’t been swimming since last year with Ashley, so it was something I had missed. I rarely am around other people who would be interested in casual sport, so the playing of frisbee was also welcome.
Since I’ve been bored for most of the night, I’ve been thinking of mostly things quite unrelated to partying. I’ve been thinking especially of my situation and the situations of others I love, and thinking of how I might help improve each of them. I haven’t come up with any answers, so perhaps my disengagement from the center of activity here is not of value.
Just now, one guest here talked with me about classic literature. He mentioned his theories on literature in general and suggested I read some books by T. S. Elliot. I found it surprising that he would have interest in such things, because I allowed his outward appearance of a stoner (he offered weed to everyone, which I of course declined, so there was reason for me to believe he was a stoner) to color my first impression of him. I did have a positive impression of him from the start, but I applied a template and assumed what his interests might be. For that I feel quite disappointed in myself for casting such judgement. Usually I feel I don’t permit prejudice to influence how I view others, so this is rather troubling to me.
It’s now 4:30 a.m. I found it difficult to sleep, so I ended up sitting with the fellow I mentioned earlier, and a girl who is a dancer. We talked for a while about art and artistic careers and various other topics. It was certainly the highlight of the evening. I always find it easier to relate to people in smaller groups and let my guard down. I found that he was quite insightful and we had some good conversation.
As I was typing this, he passed through and made mention of my tendency to stand on the edge while the center of the party was near me, and admonished me for doing that in a way that seemed to hold more compassion than condemnation. It has prompted me to look again at why I tend to disengage around behaviour and personalities I find unappealing. Other than my rather minor social anxiety, I can’t find a cause.
As a side note, I hate mosquitos!
6 comments on “Enfield and Bites”
They are quite interesting.
Most people I know who are addicted to drugs tend to lose insight and awareness. I suppose it’s all in what you are exposed to that forms bias.
From my experience, the quiet folks are always the most facinating and intelligent once their shells are cracked.
ever wonder if our shyness is due to how we were raised? I always think of that…we both tend to stay to the outside of a crowd. Why did we turn out this way? Genes?
I suppose it might in part be that. The fact that I was bullied through elementary school sure didn’t help me.
I’d like to think I just am selective when it comes to who I talk to (I mean, I have amazing taste in friends, as they’d all agree), but I’m sure that’s just delusion.
I was teased as well, but I think I was always pretty shy. Dad’s kind of shy, too, so maybe we learned from him…I dunno.
I wish I could have taken you away from that party. :-* I really miss you and hope that I can come there before the summer is over.
I really miss you too!! I really hope you can visit.