Well, Ashley just removed me from her friends’ list. And last I talked to her things were ok between us. I’d hoped to remain friends with her, but it’s just more of the same erratic shit. C’est la vie.
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20 comments on “Huh”
Yeah, I shouldn’t be surprised, but I really hoped she was sincere in moving forward in friendship. I think it likely is rooted in jealousy, she’s likely upset that I’ve been writing about Susana.
It really has hurt me quite a lot. I suppose it may have been too much to expect a friendship with her after all that has happened. I was holding on the the hope we could maintain some of the relationship we had before this mess started, but it’s clear she can’t handle even that. I’m sad to do it, but I don’t have a choice but to cut ties with her entirely, since I imagine she’s also blocked me on AIM.
Perhaps cutting ties would be the best thing at this point so you can refresh yourself and direct your energy into your relationship with Susana, maybe? ^^;
You’re likely right, though most of my energy has been directed that way already, of course. I’m just too loyal to give up on anyone, so it’s been hard.
*nods in complete agreement with you, anowyn*
🙂
I honestly think it’s the best for everyone. Apollo definitely deserves happiness, which I believe was being a bit stunted by the situation with her. (Apollo, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)
I think that is the most important thing. Life is too short to be in something that makes you unhappy.
I do feel a certian amount of saddness that she has done this though.
I suppose, it saddens me most when I read that I’ve made you so very unhappy in this relationship. I’m sorry for that. I know that it hasn’t been easy. And, I know that I haven’t been very sincere or honest with you. I’m sorry. If I could take back all the harmful things I’ve said and done I would do that instantaneously. There isn’t a day that goes by that I regret entirely of my past mistakes.
I remember meeting you for the first time back in winter ’02. It always will be a sentimental yet unforgettable memory to me. My first kiss and lost of innocence to a wonderful sweet guy. I still wish things didn’t turn out as they have. I guess I can’t hold on forever. It’s just so hard to move on.
I believe in time, when things settle down and once I’ve gone through some therapy I’ll be willing to add you back to my friend’s list. It’s just psychologically painful right now for me to be friends with you as you’re involved in another relationship. Although, I truly am glad you’ve found someone who you feel great love for, you certainly deserve it.
Take care.
I was very happy for a long time with you, but once things deteriorated, yes, it was very frustrating and I was unhappy with how things were between us.
I’ll always look back on those times we were together fondly. I was very happy then and don’t regret what we shared at all. I do hope you’ll find a way to move on, especially that you’ll work on recovering from your disorder.
I do hope you’ll be able to readd me as a friend in time. I do understand it’s very painful for you.
Take care. Be well.
Yes, what you said does make sense. I certainly do hope this is best for everyone and that she’ll be able to find some peace with herself.
Yeah, it seems to me like she’s just hurting right now. Maybe the more she read about it the more it stung, and she decided she needed a break from it. If reading her journal lately has been any indication, she isn’t in the best state of mind, so I wouldn’t judge her too much by this. Yeah, it isn’t fair to you to be so back and forth, but she likely doesn’t even know what she wants for herself right now.
I certainly do understand she’s hurting on more than one front right now, and I’m not judging her. I’m just frustrated with her moodswings and lack of honesty and directness with me.
Yeah I can imagine. I didn’t mean my comment to come across the way it did. What I was basically saying is, it would be hard for her to be direct with you about how she feels if she doesn’t really know how she feels – ya know? At the same time, she should have at least let you know she was going to delete you.
This is my first step in recovery. This is not out of jealously or hurt or whatever you may speculate it to be. I’ve just decided it is time for me to move on. Whatever, you may think of me now, well, that is your opinion. We simply can’t be friends Apollo. I’ve devoted my entire life to you and loved you with all my heart. This is the only way I can find peace with myself. I can’t linger in the past anymore. I feel that we shouldn’t be friends due to the nature of my disorder and the burden this relationship has put on me thoroughout the years.
I’m sorry. I wish you the best in life and that you’ll find the happiness you deserve. Please, don’t ever doubt my love for you.
Ok, I do respect that. I’m glad you took the time to tell me, that you didn’t was what bothered me most.
I’m sad you feel we can’t be friends, but I hope this will help in your recovery. I truly do want you to be happy and well. I’ll be wishing you nothing but the best throughout your recovery.
If there comes a time when you feel I could be part of your life again please don’t hesitate to contact me. My friendship and love for you won’t expire.
My relationship with Apollo is the main cause for my disorder. Don’t presume that you know everything. I went through painful therapy in which I spoke with other girls about my feelings toward Apollo and how my parents interfered with the success of our relationship.
I wasn’t manipulating him or whatever the hell you think.
Don’t worry about the AIM thing–I blocked her after she started “LOL”ing about her hair falling out and her losing an inch of her height
What is this really about, Alisha?
I never intentionally made that comment in ridicule to my eating disorder. You obviously misunderstood. I can’t believe you would make these accusations. From your recent email, you seem to really care that I was getting the help I needed.
I don’t know what to say. I am very hurt by this comment.
I know Apollo truly cared for me or he wouldn’t have stood by me while I struggled this entire time.
20 comments on “Huh”
Yeah, I shouldn’t be surprised, but I really hoped she was sincere in moving forward in friendship. I think it likely is rooted in jealousy, she’s likely upset that I’ve been writing about Susana.
It really has hurt me quite a lot. I suppose it may have been too much to expect a friendship with her after all that has happened. I was holding on the the hope we could maintain some of the relationship we had before this mess started, but it’s clear she can’t handle even that. I’m sad to do it, but I don’t have a choice but to cut ties with her entirely, since I imagine she’s also blocked me on AIM.
Perhaps cutting ties would be the best thing at this point so you can refresh yourself and direct your energy into your relationship with Susana, maybe? ^^;
You’re likely right, though most of my energy has been directed that way already, of course. I’m just too loyal to give up on anyone, so it’s been hard.
*nods in complete agreement with you, anowyn*
🙂
I honestly think it’s the best for everyone. Apollo definitely deserves happiness, which I believe was being a bit stunted by the situation with her. (Apollo, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)
🙂
I can’t say all this didn’t frustrate me incredibly much. As I’ve moved out of the relationship we had I’ve found myself much happier.
I think that is the most important thing. Life is too short to be in something that makes you unhappy.
I do feel a certian amount of saddness that she has done this though.
I suppose, it saddens me most when I read that I’ve made you so very unhappy in this relationship. I’m sorry for that. I know that it hasn’t been easy. And, I know that I haven’t been very sincere or honest with you. I’m sorry. If I could take back all the harmful things I’ve said and done I would do that instantaneously. There isn’t a day that goes by that I regret entirely of my past mistakes.
I remember meeting you for the first time back in winter ’02. It always will be a sentimental yet unforgettable memory to me. My first kiss and lost of innocence to a wonderful sweet guy. I still wish things didn’t turn out as they have. I guess I can’t hold on forever. It’s just so hard to move on.
I believe in time, when things settle down and once I’ve gone through some therapy I’ll be willing to add you back to my friend’s list. It’s just psychologically painful right now for me to be friends with you as you’re involved in another relationship. Although, I truly am glad you’ve found someone who you feel great love for, you certainly deserve it.
Take care.
I was very happy for a long time with you, but once things deteriorated, yes, it was very frustrating and I was unhappy with how things were between us.
I’ll always look back on those times we were together fondly. I was very happy then and don’t regret what we shared at all. I do hope you’ll find a way to move on, especially that you’ll work on recovering from your disorder.
I do hope you’ll be able to readd me as a friend in time. I do understand it’s very painful for you.
Take care. Be well.
Yes, what you said does make sense. I certainly do hope this is best for everyone and that she’ll be able to find some peace with herself.
yeah…you’ll get some of that. maybe it was the only way she’ll really get closure.
and maybe some day she’ll be able to add you back…she might just be really tender right now.
Yeah, it seems to me like she’s just hurting right now. Maybe the more she read about it the more it stung, and she decided she needed a break from it. If reading her journal lately has been any indication, she isn’t in the best state of mind, so I wouldn’t judge her too much by this. Yeah, it isn’t fair to you to be so back and forth, but she likely doesn’t even know what she wants for herself right now.
I certainly do understand she’s hurting on more than one front right now, and I’m not judging her. I’m just frustrated with her moodswings and lack of honesty and directness with me.
Yeah I can imagine. I didn’t mean my comment to come across the way it did. What I was basically saying is, it would be hard for her to be direct with you about how she feels if she doesn’t really know how she feels – ya know? At the same time, she should have at least let you know she was going to delete you.
I hate getting removed from friend’s lists, regardless of how well I know the person.
It’s especially a kick in the guts when you have had a relationship with them in real life.
Maybe all she needs is some space to find closure. I know you worry about her, but she has to want to get better for herself or it just won’t happen.
*hugs*
This is my first step in recovery. This is not out of jealously or hurt or whatever you may speculate it to be. I’ve just decided it is time for me to move on. Whatever, you may think of me now, well, that is your opinion. We simply can’t be friends Apollo. I’ve devoted my entire life to you and loved you with all my heart. This is the only way I can find peace with myself. I can’t linger in the past anymore. I feel that we shouldn’t be friends due to the nature of my disorder and the burden this relationship has put on me thoroughout the years.
I’m sorry. I wish you the best in life and that you’ll find the happiness you deserve. Please, don’t ever doubt my love for you.
Ok, I do respect that. I’m glad you took the time to tell me, that you didn’t was what bothered me most.
I’m sad you feel we can’t be friends, but I hope this will help in your recovery. I truly do want you to be happy and well. I’ll be wishing you nothing but the best throughout your recovery.
If there comes a time when you feel I could be part of your life again please don’t hesitate to contact me. My friendship and love for you won’t expire.
I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.
I will miss you terribly. This is just how it has to be for now until I am better. I am sorry my decision has hurt you, I truly am. 🙁
I miss you very much too. I just hope this will help you and that you can recover.
Wow..
My relationship with Apollo is the main cause for my disorder. Don’t presume that you know everything. I went through painful therapy in which I spoke with other girls about my feelings toward Apollo and how my parents interfered with the success of our relationship.
I wasn’t manipulating him or whatever the hell you think.
Don’t worry about the AIM thing–I blocked her after she started “LOL”ing about her hair falling out and her losing an inch of her height
What is this really about, Alisha?
I never intentionally made that comment in ridicule to my eating disorder. You obviously misunderstood. I can’t believe you would make these accusations. From your recent email, you seem to really care that I was getting the help I needed.
I don’t know what to say. I am very hurt by this comment.
I know Apollo truly cared for me or he wouldn’t have stood by me while I struggled this entire time.